It is raining quite heavily, the down-pour started about an hour ago yet it seizes to even calm itself down. I look out of the window and see drops of rain fall from the dark clouds, a boom of thunder strikes without warning and I jump. Silly me.
Its cold even from the insides of my house, the chilling winds brought itself into the openings of the windows and blew on me. I sit on my bed as the storm went on, another thunder struck but this time I was prepared. The rain sounds like beads of sands descending onto an aluminum foil, nerve-wrecking but still I found it some what mesmerizing.
I could go on about describing the rain but that wouldn't be fun, would it? Guessed so.
My name is Jack, I'm a student studying in Kin Xin High School in Malaysia, positioned at the third class, student number 281/07. I'm 16 this year and at Form 4, life isn't really such a charming go-lucky tale as anyone would easily guess. I'm not a looker to be fair, highly unstable emotional state of self and on and off liquor consumer. I don't have many friends, my family is literally non-existent and I'm smart.
Yes, I am smart. On school curricular syllabus to be exact. I have a ranking of 7th during my last school exam even after I failed my chinese. Its considered so, I guess.
Though, life wasn't always as low as this point in my life, it wasn't until my life just flunked on me like a train wreck.
No, life was happy, free and just plain enjoyable. WAS.
My love life wasn't all that interesting too, I like this girl, Chen Mew Kar who I have told her my feelings but got rejected, twice.
I turn to look at the guitar sitting by the wall and crawl over to pick it up. I stare at it for a while, if only I could denote my heart as a tune and play it out for you. Not soon after I found myself strumming and plucking the strings of the guitar to a song. A tear rolls down my eye and hits the fret board of the guitar, I bother this not and continue my melodic practice.
On days like this, I just fill my time as I would now, guitar, computer, lifeless acts of self entertainment until it was time to return to school, on Monday. I remember the days of which I could open the door and smell the misty cool air of a mountain side and walk out to see a happy sight of clouds and rolling green hills.
No more, it doesn't exist anymore.
One by one tears start to slide down my cheeks, on to the guitar, floor, bed. I break down into tears and flung the guitar away. I kick and punch wildly, my bed feeling the wrath of each blow. I fall back on to the bed and cry.
All I want is a life of happiness, yet my pursuit for it seems so futile, so unfair. As if I were a working labor wanting a raise when I wasn't even provided income.
The sound of the rain hit softer and softer. As the storm subsided and the night grew older, my tears fall increasingly.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment