It is raining quite heavily, the down-pour started about an hour ago yet it seizes to even calm itself down. I look out of the window and see drops of rain fall from the dark clouds, a boom of thunder strikes without warning and I jump. Silly me.
Its cold even from the insides of my house, the chilling winds brought itself into the openings of the windows and blew on me. I sit on my bed as the storm went on, another thunder struck but this time I was prepared. The rain sounds like beads of sands descending onto an aluminum foil, nerve-wrecking but still I found it some what mesmerizing.
I could go on about describing the rain but that wouldn't be fun, would it? Guessed so.
My name is Jack, I'm a student studying in Kin Xin High School in Malaysia, positioned at the third class, student number 281/07. I'm 16 this year and at Form 4, life isn't really such a charming go-lucky tale as anyone would easily guess. I'm not a looker to be fair, highly unstable emotional state of self and on and off liquor consumer. I don't have many friends, my family is literally non-existent and I'm smart.
Yes, I am smart. On school curricular syllabus to be exact. I have a ranking of 7th during my last school exam even after I failed my chinese. Its considered so, I guess.
Though, life wasn't always as low as this point in my life, it wasn't until my life just flunked on me like a train wreck.
No, life was happy, free and just plain enjoyable. WAS.
My love life wasn't all that interesting too, I like this girl, Chen Mew Kar who I have told her my feelings but got rejected, twice.
I turn to look at the guitar sitting by the wall and crawl over to pick it up. I stare at it for a while, if only I could denote my heart as a tune and play it out for you. Not soon after I found myself strumming and plucking the strings of the guitar to a song. A tear rolls down my eye and hits the fret board of the guitar, I bother this not and continue my melodic practice.
On days like this, I just fill my time as I would now, guitar, computer, lifeless acts of self entertainment until it was time to return to school, on Monday. I remember the days of which I could open the door and smell the misty cool air of a mountain side and walk out to see a happy sight of clouds and rolling green hills.
No more, it doesn't exist anymore.
One by one tears start to slide down my cheeks, on to the guitar, floor, bed. I break down into tears and flung the guitar away. I kick and punch wildly, my bed feeling the wrath of each blow. I fall back on to the bed and cry.
All I want is a life of happiness, yet my pursuit for it seems so futile, so unfair. As if I were a working labor wanting a raise when I wasn't even provided income.
The sound of the rain hit softer and softer. As the storm subsided and the night grew older, my tears fall increasingly.
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