Library In Retrospective Part 1 of 3

The library is cold, very cold. Outside the weather is chilling and that really just makes the air conditioner next to nothing but a freezer. I sit inside on a desk surrounded by Tai, Chong, Foo, Eng and Hzien. I had organized a study group with them and they willingly accepted the offer to my teachings. They look at me as I lay my books on the desk, and so do they. ' Well then, ' I say, ' sejarah be our appetizer for this meal?' They agree and we begin.

I start to teach without any disturbances, they listen and nod their heads and occasionally ask questions to what I have taught. Eng wasn't really fond towards the english language, so I'm having a rather hard time trying to make him understand what I'm teaching. Luckily for me, Foo is here and he translates my words into chinese for Eng's convenience. There are laughs from time to time and we try to force ourselves to be serious, but we got out of hand and crap all around.

Its really great to be here, the STATE LIBRARY. I have some great memories about this place, it lingers in my mind as a sanctuary for me, a place where I can escape from myself, my pain and my guilt. Here people treat me nicely, they treat me as if I'm an invaluable artifact, a page from a lost manuscript that everyone's been dying to search for.

Why? Because of what I'm doing now, I teach.

' Jack looks sad,' Chong tilts his head as he looks at me. Foo intercepts, ' Mew Car's not coming, that's why-'. He looks at me, I look at him. '-I'll keep quiet now.' We all laugh. Its not that I am sad, I just don't look happy when I'm not sad. Mew Car's just one of the things on the list I'm trying to get over, the next was being all so emo and the third constant complaining and whining over my life.

There are a number of library attendees sitting in groups of their own, the ones that I see mostly don't really look like they came for educational or referential purposes. A bunch of students sit opposite where I am, as the lesson goes on I lift my head to peep occasionally and see the boys flirting with the girls. They are in clean and rather tidy uniforms, dressing to impress the girls than to accommodate with the school's preferences. They catch me, but they don't seem bothered and I just lower my head down and continue to teach.

I finish the chapter in about 45 minutes and we all fall on the table, mentally exhausted by the fact we've rushed through something that was taught in a period of a month by our school teachers. ' I have come up with a conclusion,' Hzien raises his hand with his face on the table, ' sejarah are for damn morons who never heard of television.' I sit up and look at the clock hanging on the opposite wall, 3.40. We've been here for an hour and did our studies, a milestone compared to what I'll be doing back home.

' I hate sejarah. ' Tai mumbles, I can barely make up what else he is saying. Foo rests his head on Eng's shoulder, they would look like the perfect couple if heterosexuality wasn't forbidden in this country.